this is so interesting! Cant wait to do more!
I need to write..
About what? Well I really have no idea. About how I constatly feel like I take two steps forward just to take four steps back. This isn’t a negitive post, but just a self aware one. I’m trying to forgive but something in me just feels like I’m lying? And why? I don’t know, I feel like I’m always the one looking like the fool because I really am just too nice. I’m stuck between being a child and being an adult. I want to run away to neverland sometimes and others I’m throwing myself out of the nest and into adulthood. And I’m willingly going without knowing if I’m fully prepared. I feel like when I started going into adulthood and quickly relying less on others and way more one myself I missed something. Some valuable lesson that I was supposed to know, I missed completely. Up until this post I felt like I had it all figured out and now I am just more confused than ever. But it’s out, I’ll figure it out.
So I’m sitting here in the back room of Spencer’s, I have about a half hour before I start my shift for the night and I’m just thinking.. adding up my expenses and what not and I just feel really good about how far I’ve come and how I’ve gotten myself to this point without very much help. I am able to finally take care of myself with minimal help from others and it just makes me happy. Sure I’m always stressed, sure I have bags under my eyes 99% of the time, and of course I rarely ever have free time but that’s okay. I’m a supervisor of a store I love, hopefully moving out soon, able to pay my own bills and help others around me, and I would like to go back to school in the fall, I just have no idea what for. I’m just happy, and so very much in love with my life and my family and friends. But let’s not forget the man who has stuck by me for 7 years on the 22nd. I’d be nowhere without him, and I love him dearly.
